gothguk

ok so i dont know where else to post this kinda thing. thats why its here.

but ive been like going thru all my old shit. including tumblr, da, twt, and a particular website i wouldnt admit on a good day O__O

anyway last night after waking up from some bizarre dream at 2am i remembered about all my dA journals that i did and read literally every single one of them and im like. wow im kinda fucking sad. while i dont feel like i have friends anymore (and thats completely my fault i admit coz ive been isolating myself to like cope w trauma or whatever) but im also kind of amazed at like... how different my answers would be to this day even though it's been maybe 3 yrs at most. at lot has happened. ive grown a lot.

so i realized i miss doing these journal meme thingies. its pretty fuckn niche yeah but it doesnt matter. i guess i feel the need to express myself and i dont know how to do it sometimes so these kinda questions help me put my thoughts somewhere especially when i am at a loss for creative outlets... if that makes sense. i literally dont expect a soul to see this or care and thats okay!!!! if anything, don't. i'd prefer it. let this slip from your mind. absolutely nobody has to process or perceive me.

so, moving on, here are my updated thoughts and shit that doesn't matter and is completely irrelevant to everyone but me !!!

i am now 17 yrs old (18 next april), still a taurus, still confused abt my sexuality but certain i luv dat gewd pussy, and uh.... yeah. im me but a few years older. nothing that new but...idk...here it is.

btw can i mention how fucking crazy and weird it is to just suddenly become a Legal Adult. u can drive, u can vote, and u can almost buy alcohol even tho you've been drinking for a while now so that's kind of not worth mentioning. the point is i dont feel like i lived up to my teenage youth n its already abt to be over. ive spent 90% of my fucking life in my bedroom. wahoo for me i guess

ok ok ok. anyway. heres a quarantine themed ask meme i got from tumblr. i think that's fitting enough for our current climate. also this is wildly cringy and a very honest expression of my dumbest thoughts. just a lil warning<3

😊: what makes you happy? my cat, my comfort characters, the world and its innate beauty, and the concept that one day i will find someone who loves me wholly and entirely. oh and uhm my moms homemade mac & cheese. that makes me pretty happy.

😇: do you believe in guardian angels? absolutely!! in a more complicated sense, yeah i believe there are forces of energy looking over us and protecting us. some are good, some are bad, but there is indubitably complex energy impacting our lives.

😘: are you in love? w my sweet precious little pumpkin yes i am !!! but if my cat doesnt count then uh... no. no i am not. i havent had the slightest bit of romantic interaction in litrally years

😭: what’s the last thing you cried about? missing my little sister lol

😡: what makes you angry? bigotry, animal abuse, and uhhh annoying little bitches idk

👻: do you believe in ghosts? absolutely!!!

👽: do you believe in aliens? youd have to be blatantly stupid not to. how can u truly believe there is no possibility of alien life beyond our tiny little pebble of a home. i just wish i knew personally what it was like

☠️: what’s your biggest fear? being abandoned or dying unloved. oh n uhh grown men. cant trust em mfers.

👾: what’s your favorite video game? night in the woods, fallout 4, minecraft, and undertale. those will always have a special place in my heart. oh and i realize it's not considered a very sophisticated game but animal jam is also one of my all time favorites ever. that was my fuckn childhood dude. its so much more complicated than it seems im not even kidding

👁: what color are your eyes? a very dark brown. it looks hazelnut brown in the sun tho if that...counts for anyything.. which obvs doesnt but...w/e

🧑‍🔧: what’s your dream job? uhm a chef or a veterinarian. or maybe just a humble little farmer w fluffy cows n homegrown strawberries

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦: do you want to be a parent? i do but its gonna take me a long time before i get to a place i feel i can raise a human being

💍: do you want to get married? depends who obviously

🐶: do you have any pets? yeahhhhh the same 3 kitties ive had for years. theyre mentioned in literally every journal meme ive done

🌹: what’s your favorite flower? ok well i noticed a lot of times i didnt actually answer this question n thats fair cos.. idrk.. but i guess id pick like.. orchids or sunflowers. i like dramatic colorful flowers

🌎: where are you from? im a cali native yet i havent lived more than 2 fukn yrs in the state at once lmfaoo

🌤: what’s your favorite type of weather? cloudy and rainy!!! if theres thunder even better!

🍏: what’s your favorite fruit? as usual, strawberries n honeydew melon. but ive taken a liking to apples paired w pb

🥕: what’s your favorite vegetable? ooh def roasted carrots n roasted cauliflower... i also like steamed broccoli and raw carrots w mustard which IK sounds weird but i swearrrrr its so fukn good

🍟: do you like fast food? well yeah but i havent eaten it in soooo long... if u read my other entries youll generally pick up on that i ate micky ds a lot at that point. but to answer the question yeah i like my pick of fast food (quesaritos, mcnuggets, california kitchen frozen pizzas) but generally it doesnt do anything for me anymore

🍕: what pizza toppings do you like? oohooohhh....banana peppers, extra marinara sauce, caramelized onions, n hmm grilled chicken is p good. i also like my pizza hella thin crusted yano?

🍦: what’s your favorite flavor of ice cream? >:3 well im pretty consistent here. i like rly good quality vanilla and i loooove caramel/oreo ice creams

🍬: do you like candy? yyeah kinda but again i dont rly eat it as much anymore. id eat the shit out of a bag of 100 grands tho

☕️: coffee or tea? i still cannot seem to decide on this one.. i love coffee 2 death but tea is great for something warm n rly convenient to make

🍺: do you drink? oh...oh yeah. sorry baby charlie you've been doin shots of titos early in the morning for a while now but ur not like.., fucked up or anything so i guess its fine

🏈: do you like sports? not enuf to care

🏆: tell a story about something you’ve won! honestly ive never won a damn thing in my life. but my english teacher put up my poem abt lesbians on his wall for literally everyone to see.. does that count

🎟: what was the last concert you went to? havent been to one :/ yeah ik. its been years n i havent done a damn thing lmfaoo

🎬: what’s your favorite movie? ok well.. my taste has definitely evolved a little since. good time, the babysitter, coraline, it follows, n uhh idk. nightcrawler was rly good. theres a lot of rly amazing movies out there

🎤: what’s your favorite song? dazed & confused by led zeppelin, someone purer by mystery jets, skeleton song by kate nash, dread in my heart by mother mother, comfortably numb by pink floyd, the entire crybaby album, my funeral boy/blue moon motel by nicole dollanganger, and soooooo many other songs.. i could go on forever abt this

🎸: do you play any instruments? nope. in the last 3 yrs no i have not learned a damn thing

🚗: do you like driving? i still dont know how to drive but i know i wont like it no matter what. it just gives me sm fukn anxiety

🚨: have you ever been arrested? no thank gawd lol

✈️: what’s the last place you traveled to? well uh i lived in texas for abt a year before now which we happen to be reaching a full year in georgia and now we're literally about to move to california....

🏝: what 3 things would you bring to a deserted island? im never totally clear if these kinda questions include like water, food, n shelter automatically...assuming it is and i already have those resources... i would bring books, some kind of device i cld play music on, and uhhhh weed. id bring so much fukn weed

🏫: if you’ve gone to college/university, what did you study? if not, what would you like to study? id like to study forensic science n culinary

⛪️: are you religious? no but i am spiritual

📱: show your home/lockscreen! hah... ok well here it is

yes thats ron weasley as my lockscreen. no i will not apologize for it

xxx: post the last picture in your camera roll!

this is me n my mom lmfao

🚬: do you smoke? well yeah... both weed & nicotine but i guess im lowkey quitting nic now since my vape ran out :-/

🔮: do you believe in magic? ohhh yeah. not like in that corny way where i think Everything is magic but i think theres more to what we, as humans, recognize to be logical and based in only fact. if that makes sense....

🛁: showers or baths? scalding hot showers bby

🧸: do you still have any childhood toys? oh yeah. ive kept every single lps

🎈: when’s your birthday? april 28th 2003 bby

📚: what’s your favorite book? man... winter moon by dean koontz was rly memorable, uhm n i love the entire harry potter series since i FINALLY started reading it (im on order of the pheonix btw), n im sure theres so many more i cld add but for now thats good

📝: do you like writing? uh...yeah. duh. even if it aint good im writing Constantly. constantly. like even in my brain im thinking What Can I Write Next

✉️: do you write a lot of letters? no but i wish coz to me its such a sincere loving gesture

❤️: what’s something that you love? i love music, n yummy food, and good art, and kindhearted people, and trees, and i like warm blankets and i like getting my vape stash replenished n i like satisfying bong hits . theres a lot i love n its all based in comfort lmfaoo im a fukn taurus at heart bby

💔: what’s something that you hate? bigots, wet socks, anything thats boring to my undiagnosed adhd brain, n uhhh weak coffee

the end